Forgetting Something
by luvme123
Summary: Rin can't help but feel he's forgetting something when he's with his roommate. Or, perhaps, forgetting someone. Rintori-centric, fluff.


When Rin first started rooming with Nitori, back when they first met, he knew the boy was different. Nitori, whom Rin had known only a few hours, seemed familiar - and yes, while he'd seen the younger boy at many a tournament, and maybe even swam against him, this was different. It was as if Rin had forgotten an old friend, and was reuniting with him after years apart.

He just couldn't remember if that was the case, though.

Rin remembers clearly when the first time he got the feeling. It was when they'd started unpacking together, on their first day at Samezuka - or, at least, Nitori's first day. Rin had been here a whole year already, though, not on the swim team. He remembers listening to Nitori idly chat about his nerves, and - though he was annoyed - he let the younger boy speak as they packed clothing into their dressers.

Rin thought, absently, he was just as absent minded as Makoto, or maybe Nagisa, when a pair of swim shorts among the checkered boxer shorts caught his eye.

"I'm planning on joining the swim team," Nitori told him with flushed cheeks, having seen his stare at the smooth fabric. He'd rubbed the cloth in his hands nervously, a habit Rin notices later he does when he's nervous, or scared - a habit Rin promises himself when he's figured it out that he wouldn't allow to come out when his kouhai was speaking to him. "I- I was hoping to see you swim again. I know it sounds silly, but I remember you from tournaments when we were younger- I really admired you before you left."

"Well, I'm not swimming," Rin had snapped, "Don't get your hopes up for nothing, kid."

The feeling flicked through his mind as Nitori frowned. "Oh." He'd said. Then, a giggle. "I guess some things can't always be like I plan..." Another giggle. "Whatever you choose to do, I'll support it, senpai."

_Innocent. This boy is way too innocent. Childlike, almost. _

Had he no idea that the world was a cruel place for people like him.

Rin remembers, even now, the smile that graced his lips in that instant.

"You really shouldn't make promises like that, you know."

Little did Rin know, Nitori would convince him to swim on the team just because he wanted to hear those giggles again.

_Click. _

_Nagisa._

/

The second time, a few months have passed, and it was a normal day for the two - homework in the dorms after practice, then they could do whatever they wanted. Nitori's idea was to study some more, and Rin's had been to rant about Haru, who by then had returned into his life. Nitori had been silent, apart from the occasional sigh, listening to Rin talk. He never spoke out of turn, and even though he was supposed to be studying for an English quiz - something Rin had promised he'd help him study for - he listens attentively as he scribbles his notes.

"If he makes you so mad, senpai, then why don't you just talk to him about it?" Nitori asked, hesitantly, after a particularly long bout about Haru.

"It's not that easy, Nitori!" Rin yelled, slamming his fist into a pillow roughly. "You don't get it he's- he's..."

"It's alright," Nitori had whispered through closed eyes and shaky breath, "I understand you don't want to do that, and I support that, and I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Rin knows Nitori knows he saw him flinch at Rin's outburst. He felt like an ass. Neither of them brought it up again. Rin listened to Nitori, and his friendship was fixed.

_Calm. Patient. Loyal._

Hcaptai couldn't figure it out.

_Click. Click. _

_Makoto_.

/

Another example is at practice one day, when Mikoshiba was nagging Rin for his times.

"Matsuoka, I know you can do better than that!" The captain yelled at him from the side of the pool. He held a timer in one hand, a clipboard full of times and records in the other. "You've been slacking today! What's up with you?!"

Before Rin had any time to respond, Nitori had already made his way to the captain and tapped on his shoulder. When Mikoshiba leant over to hear Ai's hesitant whisper, his expression softened.

"I-it's the anniversary of senpai's fathers' death today, captain," He whispered in the captain's ear. "He's just feeling a bit upset and missing right now. He'll be better tomorrow."

"Uh, never mind Matsuoka. Wh-why don't you take the rest of the day off, actually?"

"H-huh?" It was a rare treat, and, despite his confusion as to why Nitori was explaining this for him, he climbed out of the water with a grin. "Really?"

"Sure, why not? I want to see you looking ready to swim tomorrow, though. Refreshed."

"Of course, Captain." He bowed and walks off.

"I'll see you after practice, senpai?"

"Of course, Nitori."

_Protective. Thoughtful._

_Click. Click. Click._

_Gou_.

/

Rin feels the same twinge now, as if he'd forgotten something about his roommate he should know, as he listened to the younger boy crying silently in his bunk above him. It wasn't an unusual occurrence, Nitori crying like this, though he only ever cried when he thought Rin was sleeping. His sobs always forcefully stiffled by a pillow in fear of waking Rin - he had no idea that the older boy was listening to his curses silently below him.

He never asked why, Nitori had explained right before the whole thing had started - his sister, whom he was very close to, had died. Suicide, he said. She'd drown herself in the bath at their home a few weeks after Nitori left for school. Rin hadn't said anything then, because the feeling was back - he felt that the way Nitori was brave enough to continue swimming when his sister had drown was brave, and how he never let Rin know about his feelings because he didn't want to worry him - and only now does Rin recognize the feeling.

Makoto instantly comes to mind, which is reasonable, as him and the person he was thinking about were basically the same person by now, but then the determination it must have taken Nitori to do so reminds him of the true person and it hits him.

_Click. Click. Click._

_...Click!_

_Haru._

Rin sits up in his bed quickly, and pauses when the sheets make a loud shuffling noise. Nitori's sniffling stops, and Rin cringes. Rin hadn't meant to disturb him. Now he'd think he was mad at him for keeping him awake, and that wasn't something Rin wanted to deal with right now.

"S-senpai?" Comes the hesitant whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Y-you moved very suddenly, are you ok?"

"Yeah." Rin says softly, as if trying to immitate the soft voice he'd heard in the videos Nitori had shown him of his sister. Nitori, through the darkness of the dorm room, smiles at that. "Yeah, I just remembered something I should have figured out a long time ago."

"That's good." Nitori says quietly. Silence fills the air, and then, "...Goodnight senpai."

"Night, Ai," Rin says, and he knows he's pulled another smile from the boy.

_Lonely,_ Rin thinks, _Lonely, and scared, but he's definitely determined to get what he wants._

Rin smiles at his observations. At how his silver-haired roommate reminded him of all his close friends, and of his sister - he even found a way to remind him of Rei, too. Studios. Calm. _Always knowing stupid factoids - _beautiful in his own special ways_._ It made Rin grin to himself.

He was innocent like Nagisa, caring like Makoto, protective of him like Gou...

_The same loneliness as Haru. _

_No,_ Rin has to remind himself, _Haru has Makoto. He's not alone. But Ai..._

"Ai,"

"Yes senpai?"

"Get down here and tell me what's bothering you."

"Wh-"

"Don't fight me on this, don't question me, just do it; I'm trying to listen for once."

"It's one in the morning, senpai, we have school in a few hours-"

"Ai..." Rin uses a warning tone in his voice, and he can hear Nitori's helpless sigh as he bounds down the latter and pulls up a chair near Rin's bed. The lamp switches on an Rin smiles reassuringly at Nitori as he hugs a comfort blanket tight to his chest. "So, tell me what's making you cry every night."

"I-..." Nitori sighs, knowing he wasn't going to get away with not telling him. "Well, I guess it started when I came here..."

Rin listens intently, only speaking when necessary, and swearing to himself that he would be Ai's Makoto.

_If Makoto can make Haru feel less lonely, I can do this. _

"...And I just got really..."

_I have to._


End file.
